My daughter would laugh if I told her she needs to vacation the way I see fit. My daughter and son in law intend to travel to a wedding with a newborn next spring. Too far to drive do they’ll be flying. I don’t know how they plan to do it, baby will be a month old. That’s a bit extreme. But I trust that they are adults and can manage their lives and my opinion isn’t needed. Unless they ask. I have a rather difficult toxic dad but even he wouldn’t tell me how I am supposed to travel or what I am supposed to do.

So these observations lead me to suspect your mother doesn’t see you as independent and capable adult? Does she not trust your judgement?