I have posted about the upset and pain I've suffered now that my closest friend and I are not in touch.I remember the happy times-how good it was to have someone to talk to each day about the important
and not so important things,to have someone to do things with.I trusted her
,would have done anything for her and helped and supported her whenever she asked.But now...........once again in my life,I find that ,when it came tothe crunch ,those feelings were not returned. (through illness she claims/makes an excuse).But,this is not the first time I've had a close friend only to end up finding that when it came to it,it was me who valued the "friendship" most,who would put in the effort.

I still have friends,only not so close ones now.I've been hurt so badly by so-called close friends that I'm now seriously wondering whether it's worth it.I cannot go through the upset and
pain again.I've even made a
couple of attempts to make new
friends,they smile,say hello,
they'll call-but they don't so I think-I'm not putting any more effort in-you want to be friends,you come to me-but will that happen,I doubt it.

I feel so so sad,how nice it would be to have a close friend again-but no-one can be trusted.Outside of my family,it
seems people take,take take,they don't care for or value me-those are just things they say when it suits them to continue the friendship.The difference? When I say those things,I mean them.

I'm fed up of being taken for a ride.Are we better off without close friendships then? Is there any point in
wanting these types of relationships..........I'm starting to think I may as well be sad alone as have the hurt that is caused in addition to that.

I can't imagine evr trusting a close friend again or feeling that I want to.

I'm sorry for this post,my heart feels so sad today.