I don't know why I experience my son's inability to manage his life as terror. Yesterday he texted dozens of times about how to turn on the high beams of his car. This is just on its face ridiculous. Why is a 27 year old who works for a FAANG company as a software development engineer texting his mom about how to turn on the high beam of his car instead of just figuring it out or googling it?

Instead of saying this I told him it was on the turn signal level and he would see a signal on his dashboard that his high beams were on. Then he sent me a pic of his lever and asked me what the symbols meant and if he should twist the lever. I told him to either push or pull the lever. Then he said he could only get them to turn on by holding the lever so I went out to my car (which is the same model) and checked and told him that to toggle the high beams on means i pull the lever towrard me and to get them to stay on means i push the lever toward the dashboard. It took me 10 minutes and multiple texts including him sending 2 pics to get him to push the lever toward the dashboard. Then he texted me a pic of his dashboard and asked if that meant his high beams were on. He's 27 years old. I feel traumatized from that experience. Like he cannot manage just to try different things and figure simple, basic life stuff out for himself. His helplessness terrifies me.

Today I find out he still never applied for a credit card. I told him he can have difficulties if he should ever need to rent a car plus he needs to establish credit history. I told him to go through the bank where his paycheck is deposited and it will only take a few minutes to apply for a credit card but I am pretty sure he won't bother to do this until he actually runs into a problem because he doesn't have a credit card. Even though it only takes a few minutes. I told him if something happened to his car and he couldn't drive it he would have a lot of problems getting another car on the short term without a credit card. Many locations do not accept debit cards to rent a car.

I feel like this will never end and I will go to my deathbed sorting out his problems.

He was in a car accident a few days ago and he spent the whole day texting with me about how to deal with it. Then I wasn't able to eat for 2 days but did eat something yesterday evening. Today, again I'm unable to eat but I slept well due to increasing olanzapine. I've increased the amount of olanzapine I take and will call my psychiatrist on Monday. I'm supposed to increase olanzapine if I am having psychiatric problems. For the 1st time in my life I've been having thoughts of just ending my life because I don't see any way out from terror I feel during every waking second, with no reprieve or break. Just about every day is another crisis with my son and I don't see any way out, any escape, any reprieve, any progress. I feel trapped knowing it's only a matter of hours or days before my son is asking me to sort out another problem at long distance.

Of course, the emotions I experience are my own responsibility and not my son's. I haven't told him how i feel about his helplessness. I don't want to say anything that would reduce the confidence he feels as i think a big part of what is going on is his lack of confidence. I just don't know what to do.