I'm feeling the anxiety now. I took 2 valium today. I only have 2 left. I'm still not in a full blown panic over this. I know my Pdoc and his office. They wont leave me hanging. It was just a weather issue mainly. And the pharmacy not answering the phone. My sister and her family brought over a chocolate cake with strawberry jam in the middle. I had a very small piece. They gave me a singing birthday card and a $25 Starbucks gift card and a $25 Amazon gift card. Both of which I'll save since I am trying not to drink coffee and I bought everything on Amazon with my $75 christmas gift card that I finally got refunded on Thursday. But yeah this is my kind of birthday celebration. Especially with covid and how I've been eating and feeling lately. No resturants or actual food. Just a small piece of cake and and a couple gift cards and a few hours just hanging out at home with the family.

But I miss my old therapist so so badly and I wish I knew why. I am getting a higher level of care and am making more progress with my current T yet I just can't let go of my old one and I don't know why. But my heart hurts right now because I miss her so badly.

I'm wondering if I am feeling this way because this coming wednesday is the one year anniversary of me telling her about my transference and how we decided at that session that it was best I move on to someone else.