I’ve been seeing this guy lately, and something about the relationship just doesn’t feel right. He’s a great guy— very sweet, smart, talented, interesting, and we share a lot of interests. I haven’t been in a real, serious relationship for a few years; I’m most familiar with fwb relationships. For most of my dating life, those have been my jam. And now this great guy comes into my life, and I have no idea if I’m relationship material. We had sex for the first time last week on our second date— it wasn’t great. It kind of made me cringe. Great sex is pretty important to me, so this was a bit disappointing. Also, I’ve realized that I’m not really a cuddler— I like a lot of strong, intense lovin’ and then I need my space. He’s very affectionate and likes to cuddle, but like I said, the sex sucked. It was weak and lukewarm and just not that impressive. It’s just another thing that’s making me have second thoughts about this. He wants to get together again, but I just don’t know. It would be cruel to lead him on if I don’t feel anything for him, but maybe should I give him another chance? Maybe he was just nervous last time. Am I the right person for him? I feel like such a ***** saying all this, but I just don’t know. Where would we head from here in a relationship? I’ve come to realize I will always need my own place— I need a sanctuary to retreat to that is mine and mine alone, so that eliminates marriage and/or living together. All my friends are either single, in a relationship to the point where they’re already living together, or married— I don’t know anyone with a more unconventional relationship. I wish I knew what I wanted and what I should do. I don’t want to hurt him or anything. I just don’t know what to do.

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