Quote:
Originally Posted by Etcetera1
I mean, there's lots of kinds of friends. At some point the general categories will fail. So, just because it's called a close friendship, it doesn't mean it's actually emotionally all that intimate. Doesn't mean it has to be, either. Same for romantic relationships.
Strictly my own view on things, of course.
Well I don't know what kind of true emotions and thoughts these would be and what the purpose of the sharing/opening up would be. ? Did you have anything in mind with that?
AIso I noticed you mentioned "getting emotional" as a separate thing. When you let out true emotions&thoughts, that's already being emotional in my view, that action already has emotional messages and further emotional consequences in the relationship for all parties involved.
If you meant getting impulsive, then I get what you mean.
I don't think they are necessarily doing it out of politeness. I personally think it sounds wrong to call someone a friend purely out of politeness actually. What I was thinking was that some coworkers can be superficial buddies alright and share a lot - or seemingly a lot - without it meaning all that much.
It's like. On a more extreme level, if that makes it easier to imagine. Some people are emotionally shallow enough to actually think that they have a deeper relationship to these people that they are so easily feeling like sharing with, than what it is in reality. Of course if someone thinks that to a distorted degree, we'd be talking about a personality disorder already, and I wasn't intending to take this post towards pathological stuff. It was just for a strong enough illustration of what I originally meant.
I'm interested if you don't mind; what kind of vulnerabilities have you seen coworkers reveal to each other like that, do you have a good actual example?
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When I mentioned opening up, I basically meant getting emotional and expressing how you feel about something or what may be bothering you but now that I think of it, being emotional and expressing your true emotions is basically the same thing. And I do think there can be some impulsiveness involved too, sometimes people may express how they feel at the wrong time and wrong place. As for calling people friends out of politeness, I totally agree that it's not nice to call someone a friend just to be kind to them. I've seen that happen before and I consider it rude since it leads the other person on thinking they're friends when they're really not.
Also now I see what you mean about coworkers talking about personal things, they may have a way of appearing to be telling you a lot when in reality they are just telling you on a surface level. And when I say they open up about vulnerabilities, I meant like they go into detail about what they can and can't do as well as their honest opinions about things in great detail at times and in front of students as well which comes off as unprofessional to me. At the same time though everyone has different views on what's professional and what isn't and some are more open than others.