So here is the story. Since my parents passing I have spent every xmas and holiday with my brother, SIL and SIL's mom who was always very nice (to my face.)

The last time I saw them all was xmas 2019. The entire xmas 2019 my SIL and my brother fought like cats and dogs. My brother had been alluding to the idea that I would let him come live with me at my townhome. Absolutely not. I told him in no uncertain terms no. I really assumed nothing of it other than I did live in paranoia that he might just show up with all his belongings.

Now as to why, it is because he is abusive. He smokes dope all day (medical) has no job and has suggested he would hurt my cat. But beyond all that he needs to shut up and get along with his wife. Who he is lucky to have.

I really thought nothing of it, until, thanksgiving of 2020 came along and I didn't hear from him, I thought maybe covid?

Then thanksgiving 2021, nothing.

Ghosted. I assumed it was just my brother throwing a hissy fit and who knows what he told his wife and son. But I assumed it was covid related.

But today I found out her mom died. Months ago! That very nice lady who was always nice to me I didn't even get to say thank you to or go to her funeral. I cannot believe it but it appears I am really ghosted for life. By all of them. What the HECK was my sin? Really ? Was it really telling him he wasn't going to come live with me after destroying is marriage? Wow. And since he couldn't tell them that, what did he tell them that they wouldn't even notify me?

I immediately in a fit of anger unfriended him and her off my facebook page.

Here is the thing... I have a cousin who I never talk to... she is another user, but she has never respected my bounderies so much so that after nicely declining a lot of her invitations and her not getting the message I just stopped answering. She is very inappropriately pushy -- once asking me what my salary was so she could go back and tell my brother and the family. But I am dying to know what happened? Should I facebook her and ask what happened ?

Here is the danger... I always suspected that this would be the time my brother's wife might leave him. Not only would she have an extra house (in the area she wanted to live) but the estate she would get from her mom would leave her well off. The house itself is worth 800K. Her son is about 16 so, he isn't exactly a little kid anymore and, marrying my brother (and staying with him) is something that mom and her parents really wanted. So she can now do what she wants. So at this particular time, I don't want to connect in anyway with my brother that might open the door.

So asking my cousin who is actively posting about the death on their social media is obviously putting the connection out there.

I am just shocked. I mean I always suspected that my brother and I would never be friends as adults but it still is shocking.