Quote:
Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight
It also took me a lot less time than with my ex-T to share other things from my past with him. I felt like in a way, they were things I'd already shared with someone, so it made it a bit easier to share the next time.
Do you think that part of it is saying things out loud? I'm wondering if it could help if you could type some of it out then share it with her over email, if she allows that? Or give it to her in session, but I know from experience how uncomfortable it can feel to sit there while the therapist is reading something. Could you also tell her that you need some help bringing up certain topics? I've also emailed my T the day before a session and said, "I need to talk about x thing tomorrow but am having trouble bringing it up. Could you help me talk about it?" And that has helped.
One other thing--do you necessarily need to share the details right now (both with trauma and your former T), or could you just give her something more general and fill in more details later?
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I totally understand being able to share faster with a second T once you’ve shared before. I shared much earlier on with my previous T than I did with a past T with whom I shared some trauma. It seems to get easier as it’s repeated, but I guess maybe that’s the point. I think where it’s difficult is when someone has a bad experience with a T and it makes it hard to trust again. I feel like I’m somewhere in the middle because he was a great T for many years before things got weird. I guess it’s a little similar to your situation with ex-MC in a way, as it made you anxious after sharing with your current T because you were afraid he’d have the same reaction in the end. Although I could be way off.
I used to write things down for my previous T. It’s always a good idea, but I don’t think I’m ready for that yet with this T. She’s definitely trying to get some general ideas of what’s happened—I basically told her I had a bad experience with my last T. She wanted to know the ages when I had trauma, but I just couldn’t bring myself to say it. I just kind of gave a vague response like “some of it happened before middle school” and “there were multiple things.” Idk why it’s so difficult.
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