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Originally Posted by SummerTime12
That makes sense. The result is what affects you today so working through that seems like a good idea. I tend to shut down and get worse too. I dissociate and often get really suicidal and do impulsive things when specifics are mentioned. Despite this, I still have this urge to tell someone the details of my trauma and just get it out there. When you say you get worse, what do you mean by that?
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The same as you said really, I dissociate more, my inner critics come out and terrorise me for sharing the details with my therapist, I find I can't stop thinking about the things that happened... Like I breathed life into them again by saying it out loud. Self harm, using anything I could to escape eg. drugs or sex. The last year I haven't been able to talk about any specific trauma as I've had a baby and really don't want to dissociate or self harm. I just tell my therapist I can't talk about it right now.