Unless she works on her own trauma and insecurities, she will bring these into any relationship she enters. You walking on eggshells or trying to 'fix' it won't work because her core beliefs say otherwise.

I think it will take more than just the two of you communicating. Her issues seem to be too deeply embedded and you are the one 'triggering' her trauma (not because of anything you may have necessarily done but because her 'trauma' stems from previous intimate relationships). Like you said, you even have to avoid certain topics. This is not healthy communication and won't help resolve anything..

PS: And she treats others 'better' than you because you are the one who can cause her the most pain.