Thanks Pinny. I appreciate your kind words. I had a phone appointment with my psychiatrist today. He stopped in person in March 2020 and only does phone calls, not video. I've been seeing him since 2009 and he's been quite helpful for me to manage my relationship with my son, which is much better than it was years ago. He said I'm doing the right thing by helping my son and doesn't think I'm over mothering him or that I should cut the 'umbilical cord'. He said he thinks some people with adhd can take much longer to fully mature in all areas of their life compared to the average person and the fact my son is still needing my help and asking for it means I should keep doing what I've been doing and try to be helpful. That I just need to be patient.

I stepped up my olanzapine to 2.5 mg at night and he suggested I can take more and that it might help my anxiety. I read it can take a week to achieve the full blood level of olanzapine after stepping up so I'll wait a few more days and if I'm still having crippling anxiety then I'll take more olanzapine. My next appointment with him is at the end of February.

He said that the reason I flipped out about my son needing baby instructions on how to turn on the bright beams on his car is because I am just barely coping as it is and on a knife edge.

My son still hasn't gone to the dmv to get an in state drivers license nor has he applied for a credit card. So I have resigned myself that he won't do these things until there is some kind of crisis and he needs them immediately. On the other hand he goes to work every day, pays his own bills, goes out on dates, and goes to meetups to meet people to make friends. I looked at some websites for parents with adult children with adhd and realized that my son's situation isn't dire compared to those I was reading about there. So I am grateful for that. It could be a lot worse.