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Originally Posted by East17
I'm scared the same thing is going to happen, that she will just abandon me when we've got to the difficult stuff.
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I’m terrified of this. Being extremely vulnerable with someone and then all of a sudden they’re no longer in your life.
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Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight
Do you have any sense of what might you feel more ready? For example, are you worried about being judged? About her thinking your trauma wasn't that big of a deal compared to some other stories she's heard? That she won't want to work with you any more? It could help to tell her what's holding you back (or even just to say "something is holding me back, but I don't know what").
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I’m definitely afraid of her judging me. I feel like when I tell people my trauma history, they look at me like im damaged. Like im fragile and they don’t know what to say. I hate that feeling. Then they say I have such an extensive trauma history and idk it just..makes me feel broken and defined by it. It’s such a strange feeling because in my mind I’ve minimize my trauma, but then here’s this person looking at me like I just told them some horrific s***. It’s a disconnect.
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Originally Posted by Favorite Jeans
With many kinds of trauma therapy you really don’t need to share much of the trauma if you don’t want to. You could instead work on your grounding, regulating, orienting etc. The therapist doesn’t necessarily need to know what happened. You need to understand your body’s response to trauma and figure out a way to lessen its impact on your day to day life.
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This is essentially how my new therapist feels. I really wanna learn how to be aware of my body. But at the same time, I also wanna tell her the details at some point.
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Originally Posted by Lostislost
The same as you said really, I dissociate more, my inner critics come out and terrorise me for sharing the details with my therapist, I find I can't stop thinking about the things that happened... Like I breathed life into them again by saying it out loud. Self harm, using anything I could to escape eg. drugs or sex. The last year I haven't been able to talk about any specific trauma as I've had a baby and really don't want to dissociate or self harm. I just tell my therapist I can't talk about it right now.
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I feel you on those escape mechanisms. It’s great for like 5 minutes and then it all goes to **** again. Makes complete sense you’d want to stay away from trauma work now that you have a baby. Sometimes it feels like a vicious cycle: work on trauma, get completely destabilized, talk about trauma again, go crazy, and so on.
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Originally Posted by Omers
I had a T that directly asked about it 15ish min into the first session  |
That must’ve been sooo uncomfortable. One of the new Ts I tried recently was pushy saying “I have to know what happened so I can help you.”
I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.
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