My anxiety came down after the last post because I had some small quick errands to do and they got done and it went pretty well. Now the anxiety is blasting through the roof. I hate being me, I really do. I wish it was all over. I wish *I* was over.

Edit: Feel like crying, but the tears won't come.

Edit 2: Took some small steps toward my big goal, but I'd still rather die.

Edit 3: Looked a bit more into what I need to do with the big thing and I think ending my life might end up being the best option. F!

Edit 4: Texted with my brother, and as usual he doesn't seem to get my troubles. But at least now the tears are coming.