@AgentQ9A, When I get into these moods I later on change my mind, & then I'm glad I am alive to witness so many wonderful things. I love Nature, Sprlngtime flowers & birds, music, science, especially about our sun & planets, & wonderful books, & learning new things, & I plan to get back to my healthier routine that made me feel happy & looking forward to things. This is a very hard time. It's really hard. But it's not going to stay this way. It's going to be much better, just like when things got better in the past.