I am not sure you could or should compare raising a child to adults making a choice to date other adults.

People go into having children with a notion that they’ll be by child’s side, guide and raise them no matter how hard it might be or how the child turns out. People don’t go into dating world with a notion that they’ll date every person they meet even if it’s bad, volatile, confrontational simply etc By this logic you must date and stay in a relationship with every person you meet no matter if it’s good or bad. It doesn’t work this way and doesn’t really make sense. It’s a choice who you date and who you choose to stay with.

It’s quite unsettling that this woman’s children are in the picture. It’s alarming if they witness all this drama and conflict. So not healthy

In addition I am not sure why you say that people who suggest break up don’t care about long term relationship. That’s quite the opposite. I for example am married.

But I’d not marry my husband if when we’ve met he was confrontational and argumentative, and to quote you engaged in “name calling and yelling insults” in the very first year together.

I married him because he is kind and loving and fun and our life together is peaceful. I’ve met some confrontational, conflict and drama obsessed men, (not as extreme as this woman you described). Needless to say I didn’t continue on with them and sure didn’t marry them.

Also precisely because I am thinking about long term here, if after only a a year it’s that bad, will this be sustainable long term?

Relationship is a choice. You make it sound that relationship isn’t a choice but something that falls into your lap and you must put up with it no matter what. Why? You don’t think you have any power to choose in life? You don’t think you deserve better than being in constant drama?

You can choose life of conflict and confrontation or you can choose something else