Ok so I had my appointment, I was sooo anxious, but it was ok. The consultant is very lovely. I cried (obviously). But she told me that its really important to stay off work until Im feeling ready.

I dont feel anywhere near ready but that makes me feel even more like a failure.

I might discuss with my psychiatrist and see what she thinks about me going back on a phased return. That way I can take it slowly.
Its so rubbish to have mental health problems