Unfulfilled Mind,
I don't believe that staying in a loveless marriage is healthy for you, your partner or your children. Children are smarter than we give them credit for. They too can feel the tension between you and your spouse. Once trust and communication are lost I believe the relationship won't work anymore. It sounds like you only want to stay in it because you are afraid of the aftermath and also because you want to go to school but can't afford it if you get divorced. First, maybe therapy won't do it for the two of you, but it may be good for the kids. I believe divorces can be done without outsiders, but only if the two parties are willing. It sounds like you are afraid of what may happen so getting a mediator involved could help or if absolutely needed then a lawyer. Staying in the marriage just so you can afford school sounds awful. Going back to school is stressful enough and I know I would want someone at home who encouraged me, supported me and helped me through it all. If you don't think that your spouse could fill in those pieces then I think you should wait. There are lots of financial aid programs that could help you get through school. Good luck with everything....divorce is a very difficult thing to go through, staying positive and having positive people in your life certainly will help with the transition.