Last year T and I had a very painful rupture that I couldn't imagine how I would ever be able to trust him again. It was tough for both of us I think. We were able to work through it for several reasons.

I decided to continue to show up for session even when I could not see any path forward. We acknowledged the very hard work for me of showing up. I had a history with T of working together for a year or two then I would quit. T says I ran from treatment but at those times I didn't see it that way. I did this many, many times. Through the running away all those times somehow I was learning to stay, getting stronger able to tolerate the work including ruptures. So I think developing that within myself helped me to stick it out more through last years rupture. Also we were building trust, the kind I needed over a long period of time in order to hang in there with him. Additionally, now recognizing that we don't have forever to do this work helps me.

T works on our relationship in clear, open ways. He will list how he messed up, owns it, apologizes, listens, accepts my anger and we work it out. We argued /repaired for about 3 months last year. So much was happening in my life I told him I didn't have energy to be focused on my anger toward him anymore because of my acute issues that we needed to discuss. We moved forward without being completely repaired but somehow healed along the way.

We have come so far I would give us as many chances as we need to mess up and repair until our work is complete.