Im so sorry youre experiencing this @Rose76

Its awful to feel that way, Im truly sorry.
And Im so sorry to hear about your boyfriend. Have you been to any grief counselling?

The only thing that got me going when I felt like that was my dog. I had to get up with him because he needed fed and walked.
Have you thought anymore about getting a dog again? It is a lot of work to manage on your own but would the benefits out weigh that? Would your sisters be willing to help you with a dog if you needed?

Would you consider going to stay at your sisters? You mentioned you can stay with them anytime. I know you said you dont want them to worry, but if I were them Id much prefer to know and worry and be able to help look after you than the alternative. Just a thought.

Im so sorry youre having such a horrible time. But youre absolutely right, this is temporary and you have to remember this too, shall pass.