I have been friends with someone for many years, he’s a good friend, a good person, but he has issues with his self esteem IMO.

He has quite a lot of friends, several very close ones, one friend particularly close, who he has known many years (much longer than I’ve known him), it’s not a romantic thing, but she’s a woman.

Over the years I’ve been concerned about some of the things he’s told me about how she speaks to him. I know it’s none of my business but it worries me that she often says harsh things to him and takes out her anger on him it seems. I know we all have our moments but this friend seems to direct a lot of hers at him.

Like I say I know it’s not really my business but there are times when it seems like it affects his well-being and stresses him.

If it were a romantic relationship I would think it was abusive (verbally) and certainly if the sexes were reversed I’d probably say something to a female friend if a man was talking to her that way. I don’t think it’s acceptable for a woman to talk to a man like that either but I think me being a woman too complicates my own thoughts about whether I should say something or not.

I suppose deep down I’m aware he’s very fond of this friend (she has a history of abuse done to her which he feels explains her behaviour) and I know I need to tread very carefully in what I say.

I’d appreciate any thoughts about what to say not to say to my friend about my concerns, recently he has seemed sad about the way she has spoken to him.