I am not sure why she is saying harsh things (do you know her?)--IMO, some people (there are other reasons too but this is one I've experienced) have angry outbursts because they are upset within (it might not be about others but they are unhappy). I am getting better at not reacting to this--that I would feel like I needed to say something back to a person when they have an outburst would make them even more upset--sometimes the best thing to do can be nothing but listen and to take time out from the person when it gets to be too much (when able).