@otroo, these types of things are strange, indeed. It's just awful for your wife and all she left behind. However, though I'm not a particularly religious woman, I do believe things happen for an odd reason. With that in mind, you have some role to play in the future for yourself and all around you. Right now you are still deep into the grieving, but there will come a time when you'll need to sit and evaluate your situation and think about next steps for the future. I'm sure your wife would want you to find a new life that satisfies you.