I'm really sorry Amandae8787. I mean things like is why I don't do deep therapy with attachment to the therapist in an unreal, manufactured "relationship". Where countertransference drama will keep f***king up my most sensitive emotions and feelings. I mean if I'm supposed to process early childhood trauma in this way then I'd rather not do it. This to me is just self-torture.

Oliviab's post was good, but that's precisely what I mean by not bothering to do this work in therapy. I'm not supposed to have to reciprocate the therapist's empathy but they expect me to do it anyway. And that's a lot of *work* when being so open and close to someone. So I might as well go out do the work in real relationships instead and give up on the perfect relationship and just accept what life has to offer.

The mental health worker could help with giving skills to recognise good relationships and then no need for so many unreal ruptures taking me unnecessarily deep in pain all the time, but can learn in the actually good and real relationships in life. With some pain, sure but not so many unreal instances of it.

Just my view really but I truly am not convinced that therapists can do this kind of work in an efficient way without so many of these unnecessary ruptures if the therapy "relationship" remains a fake, artificially managed one from their end. I just do not think that applied psychology is quite there in general.