I am so sorry you are in the situation you describe. Wish I knew what to say to help, but sadly I am at a loss. To be honest, I don't know what I would do in your place. Hopefully others with more knowledge, experience and insight will see your post and be able to be truly helpful to you. I think you want things to work out between you and wife so I hope this is what happens. I regret that I am unable to advise you!