Since I am a person who does not like drama in relationships, I could not be in the relationship you describe. She sounds like a person who it would be impossible to be with for any length time. Obviously, there is something holding you to her, something that attracts you and something that you treasure about her. Advice is not something I can give here. I have seen relationships similar to the one you describe which I would call hopeless and impossible and yet the couples have been together for 50 or 60 years. So I am way out of my element. Hopefully a lot of other members here will offer you their opinions and some you will find helpful. Wish I knew what else to say. All I can say is that I sincerely hope that in your life you will find what gives you what you need.