tautologic, I'm so sorry. How old are your kids? Are they grown up or still living with you? I agree about couples counseling--can the two of you give it a try? Maybe you can suggest it to him "for the sake of your kids."

You said he's been in therapy. Do you know if the therapist suggested he go off meds? Therapists can help brainstorm solutions so that the client can see more than one choice ("leaving me is the only thing he can think of that will solve his problems"). Do you think he was in therapy a while exploring this issue and these are the conclusions he came up with? If the therapist doesn't agree with your H's decision to go off meds, could the T help convince him to go back on?