Thanks, LT. I don't think I'm the best communicator about what it's like to be me, if I'm honest. Like I've only recently realized how terrible I am at identifying my own feelings. "Bad" isn't really an emotion. For example, I'm terrible at separating anxiety from all the other "bad" feelings. And since I don't realize I'm feeling anxious, it's kind of hard to do anything about it. Then I start overthinking and panicking because I don't know what I'm feeling except that it doesn't feel good. I think sometimes even when I try to identify what I'm feeling, I get it wrong because it's like I only understand what a certain feeling is like theoretically. I'm not saying I don't experience other feelings, but it's all very nebulous and hard to pin down. And when I slap a label on the bad feeling and it's not accurate, that just leads to feeling unreal like I'm performing. I start questioning if I'm actually feeling anything or if I've confused how I think I ought to feel with actually feeling. I spend so much time feigning the emotions I think I'm supposed to feel that stuff blurs together and I become hopelessly confused.

I kind of forget where I was going with all that.

I don't think the therapist/psychiatrist are the problem here, so not really looking to switch. Or at least their perspective is not what's preventing me from getting better although I might find it unhelpful and unrealistic, plus rude/offensive in the way the therapist stated it. Whatever they say, however they say it, would all still come down to not having a way to help me when I'm unable to do more to help myself.