Manataloss,
Hi, first, I'm so sorry you are going through this and I know exactly how you're feeling because my ex did the same. Told me he wasn't happy in our 17 year marriage anymore. He told me in November of 2020, but he wanted to see if things could work. Well, after 6 months of living together, but in separate beds, me trying everything to keep it together and praying we could work it out, he told me in June of 2021 that he just isn't happy anymore and wanted a divorce. I was heartbroken and still am. We have a 14 year old son together. Anyway, I know where you're at. Listen, it takes 2 to make a marriage work. I know that's cliche, but its true! I'm sure you're busy and need to work on that, but so does she. Have you guys been to counseling? When was the last date night? You guys both need to try but there shouldn't be any ultimatum like "maybe if, and, then if we can be friends maybe she'll take you back?" That sounds like she's leading you on and for how long? It'll be a super awkward situation and your child will definitely know something is going on. And she has come to terms with it being over? It sounds like she may be not be emotionally there for you anymore. I would try everything you can to save your marriage, but her heart needs to be in it too! If she can't, or wont, then save yourself from prolonged heartbreak and break away. I hope that helps?