I have the feeling of being ''a waste of space''... which someone else mentioned in a post. I feel as if I do ''not have much to add'' sometimes, which in some family units had equated to being ''a waste of space'',

This is part of my internal ''voices'' (?) which tell me there is ''no way out except for''..... something we are not supposed to discuss here.

Also my allergies to what seems like everything... including multiple meds and cats and dogs and MANY other things

I cannot ''closely'' relate to those who have a pet. I have tried before. For one thing I have to stay away from their pet.

Sometimes... I don't feel this way. Sometimes, I can be happy, I have the ''ability'' to ''enjoy life'' and to feel good.

I have had ... several.... very bad experiences in

trigger

hospital

These were a long time ago..., mostly when I was a child. The last one was when I was 19.

I was also retraumatized in long term therapy.

I had thought I had ''got over'' that....

But recently I realised I probably had not ''got over'' that when I tried to contact a therapist ....

My anxiety sky rocketed. I can feel it right now even posting this (but nowhere near as bad when I was researching the therapist recently...

I realise I am fortunate to even have any ''choice'' in who I might (theoretically) consult., and that reminded me of yet another insult the long term therapist gave me.... how I, apparently, was ''unfortunate''.... yeah ok, so if so, would not a human being deserve compassion and respect? As I personally believe all human beings deserve...

Sorry about the rant.. again, I guess this rant makes me a ''waste of space''... at least that's what my mind is telling me.

these things... contribute to my being a waste of space.