Hi Motts

It's understandable that you feel hurt but we do expect better behaviour from siblings and relatives because of who they are.

My niece (17 next month) always appreciates the gifts I've given her. However, she now gets money because her mother has habit of giving away things after a couple of years. My niece also has more decency and integrity than many of her relatives (parents, grandparents, half-sister, wider family). My brother is her father.

Later in life (I'm 60+), we often realise that we don't have a relationship with siblings for any number of reasons. Things we've excused in the past because of the blood relationship can be called into question through either a gradual realisation or a defining event.

I'm estranged from my brother because of his wife's behaviour. Relationship with my mother also not good because I will not apologise to my sister in law for her bad behaviour towards me. Many years ago, an ex-work colleague asked why I put up with my family's behaviour. When I replied it's because they're family, he replied, "that does mean they can treat you that way". He'd ceased contact with his family because of his mother's attitude.

Hope this makes sense. It's sad when you realise that you have nothing in common with close relatives but there is a life outside of these toxic relationships.