Im so sorry youre feeling like this @Fuzzybear

Youre certainly not a waste of space. Youre so lovely and so helpful on these forums, the world is lucky to have someone like you!

And you never have to apologise for posting. Im just so sorry youre feeling this way.

I think just looking for a therapist is a huge step based on what youve been through, so well done. Make sure you show yourself some compassion and kindness, because you certainly show other people that on these forums and I personally am so grateful for you!