Have you actually been told you're ''anxious and avoidant''? idk, it doesn't seem like a very helpful term, especially if it's associated in any way with any ''failure'' (real or perceived) (no need to answer me unless you feel comfortable doing so)

I think it is a good sign, that you can be bothered to be irritated!

I'm not sure what to advise about the video chat, I also would find writing to her in an email easier than talking face to face. I agree, it was kind of her to offer her support.