I’m angry about the effects my adoption had on me - in itself it was already traumatic, to leave my birth mother and family, but to then be adopted into a similar situation to the one I left behind (i.e. addict father, bipolar mother - not saying I’m judging bipolar people in general, and certainly not my bio mother for being so sick. I know it’s not anyone’s choice. If I had the power, I’d go back in time and make her better to prevent her suffering unnecessarily, even if I still ended up having to leave her again) just… it was meant to make my life better. It didn’t, not really.
I love my T, but find it ludicrous that I’m getting some of the things I needed from her, almost without asking specifically, and not from my mum.