Hello and good evening. I didn’t meant to worry You all. I had a fantastic day on Saturday last week with my friend. We went in Gothenburg, ate nice meal, took us a nice cup of coffee afterwards. But on Monday it just went bad. My colleague was I’ll so I had the class all by myself. Not that we didn’t had any fun in the class - we did. And the kids love my teaching. They are all aware how much I care about each and every one of them. They have faith and hope in me and I’m the only one they got right now.

Which makes me feel so sad due to my situation and other “colleagues” who wants me out. How can I explain this to my kids in the class? That some teachers do horrible things to other teachers? Even some bosses? How can I learn them about core values when there are people on school who don’t give a damn about them - but like to preach to you on how YOU will perform them? I’m speechless. Especially now that my union got cold feet. I feel abandoned and all alone. Plus this depression. I can’t sleep at all well right now and piece by piece I’m going down.

I can’t understand why under people will do their very best to utterly destroy you. What kind of benefit will they gain out of that? What purpose? I have 4,5 years university exam behind me. I worked with ages 1 to 19 since 2008. I have so much knowledge, so much to teach. And they do this? To me?! Shame on them!

The most important for me now is to reclaim control of my sleep, so I won’t end up having higher dose of medicines. Which is to make you even more sleepy. I am tired, I can sleep, but I work so late at home
even after my work, so I get in bed late. Thing is to have a proper sleeping-rhythm. Once you have it, you’ll just need to stick with it. Even weekends. But in my case, I have fallen outside it. And now I’m trying to reclaim it. On top of that, I will have another meeting with my boss tomorrow and the union. I feel devastating, but I haven’t given up. And I will never give up. I just hope they will transfer me to another school away from all of this poison.

But dear friends, please don’t worry. In one way or another, things will be better from now on. I will be here and active - no matter how I feel. But these days I felt really bad so I couldn’t pop up here. Because sometimes it’s heavy only to deal with your thoughts - not to tell write about them and those things you experienced.

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