One other thing... she doesn't have the greatest memory. There were so many sweet, romantic texts and other messages we shared with one another. Once I moved in, I think the extra stress exacerbated the issues. It was too much too soon. And now ever since, she's afraid because of how bad things got.

But anyway, I remember the really good times. When she is angry at me, 98% of what she thinks about is the bad. All she talks about at those points is the bad, even though she tries to say she thinks of the good too. But no, only negativity comes out of her mouth at those times.

I think she has been depressed (at least 2mos now) and things have been rough for so long now that she doesn't fully remember how good things had been before her depression. She only sees the bad, with VERY select few good times. Like maybe a tiny fraction of them.

One of the worst parts of this is that she blames me (our relationship) for her depression. I know it isn't us. In fact, when I would come over, it was the only times she was happy. She'd have energy, feel motivated, she'd smile, she was at least somewhat better. As soon as I'd leave, it was back to no motivation and sleeping all the time. I don't get how she couldn't see I wasn't the problem - I was part of the solution - someone supporting her through a really dark time.

If she truly loved me the way she said she did, if she truly wanted what she said she wanted with me, she wouldn't fully give up here. I have no clue though. May hear from her any minute, maybe in a couple weeks, couple months, or maybe never. I had so much confidence in us making it through anything. Now, I am wondering if there would ever even be an "us" again.

I mean she even wrote such a sweet post to me for my bday on FB. Then the next day, breaks up with me. Extremes with her that are completely unpredictable and nerve-wracking.

Like I said, I'd just want a friendship for now, but I miss having her in my life. She was my best friend as well as my love. And I didn't just lose her. I lost her family. Her kids, and my kids lost her. My sons absolutely love her, and my daughter was just starting to form a strong bond with her (she hadn't met my daughter until Christmas). I've lost so much more than just a girlfriend.