Unfortunately I did SH. Kind of in a trance. It looks worse than it is. I told RS as soon as he got home as a new policy of not hiding my true feelings from him and trusting him more. He was understandably very upset but did not get mad or yell at me. He never has but I’ve got To pull that trust out from deep inside myself and fully admit he is NOT my first husband (or mother) and has proved that time and time again.

I asked him what he thinks I should do. I told him the options pdoc had given me. Few days off work, IOP, or IP. He said he didn’t know what would be best. Id like to just be able to take a few days off but when I was all alone today things quickly went south. I’ve been relatively calm up until now. Honestly going IP on the weekend sucks, especially a holiday weekend. Id spend three days just languishing waiting for the regular doc to come in. And I don’t want to go back to the IP I was in over the summer and deal with dr Stalin again (long story on the nickname). He insisted I take lithium which is a ****** med with a lot of short and long-term side effects and it didn’t even work.

Ugh. I’m gonna try to get some sleep.