Without telling him, my brother has backed off a little. I think he thinks I'm helpless, but I struggle between not wanting to even be here and with overwhelm in trying to move forward with my life. There is nothing so terrible about my life that suicide makes sense, but that's been on my mind for years and no matter if I have a day where I'm completely happy, I still think that's my best option. But I'm trying to put in the effort to find a reason to live and move forward, at least to be there to take care of my dogs. I get horribly overwhelmed when I think about moving and getting a new job and everything else that comes with "progress." Anyway, today has not been terrible, the previous couple of days were pretty good too. But I'm afraid to get his call tonight or the ton of texts tomorrow demanding to know where I am with pulling myself up by my bootstraps. If only life were as easy for those with anxiety as it is presumably for those without. Heck, no more meds, no more therapy, just bootstraps. Ah! Why hasn't anyone thought of that before now?