Quote:
Originally Posted by CANDC
@xRavenx I see you are in a situation with many downsides but few upsides. If you look at a worse case scenario, you will have someone living in your house with a cat, possibly for a long time because they have no money or even a plan how to get a job. You may find this friend is going to make your home the opposite of being a place to nurture you, it could become a haven of problems.
It is not easy, but if you inherit all the problems that make her current living situation unworkable, you may be the one needing a threrapist. Sorry but I have tried being the rescuer and it has only led to more difficult situations.
The fact that you are their only option they are considering does not bode well for the future. To me, I wonder if there are other options like a shelter for battered women that might help her get a job. Probably the cat would not be welcome. That may be why no one welcomes her.
If it were me, I am not sure I would want a cat in the house. We had two cats and one slept on the hot water heater and set off the emergency escape valve flooding the basement. The other one tore off the wall paper and used the moulding as a scratching post even though they had a scratch post. The smell of the litter box and that job were not anything I was pleased with either.
If you have a therapist, ask them what they think. When people wanted to stay here, we did just that and received strong discouragement from doing that.
@CANDC
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Thanks for this. I agree. The thing about my friend is also that she does have a family, and even though her mom's house is not the most desirable option, I think she would be welcomed there. There's not a ton of room there, but I think she'd be able to make it work. I wish she would have explored that option first before coming to me, but since I have a spacious spare bedroom, she probably thought she'd rather stay there. But I did end up saying I can't offer anything permanent. Now I guess only time will tell if that hurts our friendship or not. Also, she does have a decent, full-time job.