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CANDC · Feb 22, 2022, 12:06 PM

Hi @Yellowblossom welcome to MSF My Support Forums. I am sorry you are having mixed feelings about the therapist. It seems like that contradiction is making therapy more difficult.

"He constantly repeats that I am attractive" - this by itself could be an attempt to boost your self esteem

"I wouldn't find it difficult to find someone else (when talking about my relationship issues) even though I have made it clear I want to work on my marriage." This seems like he could be playing devil's advocate taking the opposite of what you say. Were you expressing dissatisfaction with your marriage?

"He has told me before that if he wasn't my T he would be pouring me a drink and trying to get me intoxicated" This seems inappropriate to me as it suggests to me a possible seduction OR he may be responding to what you said before that.. Was this said after you were complaining about no romance in your marriage?

"He also signs off all email and text communications to me with an 'x' even though I don't return the sentiment." I have people that do that and to me the X means a kiss but I think in other countries it is a polite kind of kiss. It is not clear what they mean but I think I would not want my therapist doing that.

"He has also made a comment before that he is good in bed but said it as a joke. " I would not want my therapist to even joke about such things. To me the therapy session should be all about the client and though I do not see anything that would be clearly unethical, there is one thing that seems clear to me:

You are not comfortable with this male therapist. You might ask yourself these questions:

Is it possible to look for a woman therapist that could help me and there would not be any possible double meanings?

How much progress am I making with this therapist?

Am I happier now than when I started with this therapist?

Just in case you do not know, the therapist could have their license to practice revoked if they had an intimate relationship with a client. I wonder if any therapist would let themselves get into that jeopardy.

I think you have given examples but without the context of what you said, it is difficult to say what they may have meant. And the tone of voice can be revealing, but we hear none of that. My take is if you are not comfortable or making progress, then finding another therapist is well worth considering.