I used to be more dependent on it a long time ago (never addicted, but just used it more often than I should probably have, more reliant on that than coping skills) but over the years I developed a lot of self discipline and am strict with myself with it. Which is unusual because I have like no self-discipline in other areas in my life. Maybe because my mom was an alcoholic and my father was into drugs. I don't want to get addicted to substances like that so I stay away from them and have more motivation to do so which is why I'm super careful with it. I used to experiment with alcohol and getting high on some things a bit as a teenager but I stopped that after a scary experience. I know substance abuse problems run in families and I don't want to live like they did.

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