My sleep has been a mess ever since I got the news on Monday from my doctor. I've been getting about 5.5 hours and waking up at 11:30 and then getting another hour around 3. I've needed my meds early which has also messed things up. I had a lot of caffeine today to help the tiredness but didnt help the anxiety. I had therapy today and it went well. This is the second week in a row where it went well. Besides the awkward running into her other client thing. She says I am just too focused on too many things at one time and my anxiety is sprialing out of control. She says my main focus right now needs to be the doctors appointment tommrow. She says at this point I shouldnt even be thinking about going back to work because its just making my anxiety sprial with everything else that is currently going on.

I am feeling more and more good about my therapy situation but I am still anxious. But I had a lot of caffeine and I was visibly shaking today from it.

I'm going to my old state next week. I was going to see my pdoc in person but I think I'll do the session virtual at the hotel. I honestly dont quite get what I am looking to get out of this trip. The stores I frequented before and the stuff I was looking for was because of my transference T and now all that just seems kinda rendundant and I don't feel like doing any of that stuff anymore. I know theres a few stores I do for sure want to go to and theres also family to see.