My moment of realisation has been the pandemic, although if I look again, the realisation was dawning before then. It just brought it to a head.

My brother can see no wrong with our mother's behaviour. In his eyes, I'm supposed to put up with it because "she's your mother". Her exact words too. Blood being thicker than water and all that.

Someone has told my mother to take care of herself. This means not arguing
and trying to manipulate me into an unacceptable and immoral situation. I know who has said this, my brother!

He cannot see that she's a narcissist so just panders to her bad behaviour. So I've finally accepted that the relationships cannot be fixed. Whilst it's sad, I'm not going to change into something I'm not. I want to be able to look in the mirror and see a person who upholds good morals. It's hard work but the other option isn't for me!