Hi, I'm in need of some advice. I've been going to therapy for about a year now and I've been seeing the same therapist for that time. I started therapy due to issues in my marriage and feelings of depression and low self esteem. My therapist and I get on very well and I feel that he does his job well. The only thing I'm struggling with is over the past few months I have began developing feelings for him. This is extremely awkward for me because he is married and over 20 years older than me. I try extremely hard to control these feelings and every time I feel I'm doing a good job of it he says or does something that pulls me straight back into this horrible place.
He constantly repeats that I am attractive and I wouldn't find it difficult to find someone else (when talking about my relationship issues) even though I have made it clear I want to work on my marriage.
He has told me before that if he wasn't my T he would be pouring me a drink and trying to get me intoxicated (not sure what was meant by that comment)
He also signs off all email and text communications to me with an 'x' even though I don't return the sentiment.
The point I'm trying to make is that I'm not sure if my T is just messing with my head or if this is genuine transference on my behalf. He has also made a comment before that he is good in bed but said it as a joke. He also uses examples like 'if you were my wife I would do x y z' so it's almost like hes painting this picture of himself in my head as being the perfect husband when I know that is most likely not the case in the real world. Is my therapist just a bit of a creep or is this me reading into everything because of transference?