For as long as I remember, there's never been a "half way" ground with my mother. As I may have said in other posts, it's only now I've really opened my eyes to her behaviour.

Okay, she was widowed at 25 with two young children. Four years later, she married a guy who had no parenting skills whatsoever despite having a son. She was incapable of sharing the love, pandering to this guy's every need. When he banned me from visiting, she told me how upset she was. My mother did (does) not have the mental strength to handle difficult situations well.

So is she angelic? No! Her behaviour is following her mother's course. People described my grandmother as a lovely person. Little did they know what a vicious, selfish person she was. Those traits manifested themselves in my mother despite her protests to the contrary. During one lockdown, I told her that I was feeling very down and had a few "dark moments". Her response wasn't "I'm sorry, what can I do to help". Instead she asked if I was contemplating an overdose. Zero support offered, criticism of me on every subject she could find. Just to satisfy her blinkered and closed way of thinking.

All she can say is, "I'm your mother". How I have to stop myself from saying, "well behave like one then!"