My mother and I are close, and she is very helpful. However, I am coming to the conclusion that she is contributing to my level of anxiety and might have for years with certain learned behaviors. We don't live close, but I think she tries too hard to influence my decisions and always has something to say about how I do things, including judgments about my relationship, although she accepts my boyfriend.

Recently, my boyfriend and I decided to take a trip over to Europe to see some places. We didn't get airfare yet. We were planning to go to somewhere on land and take different methods of transportation. She keeps getting on my case that I should be taking a cruise and that is easier. Or she will talk me out of going over there to begin with and will suggest all of these other places. She keeps saying it will be stressful and that I won't be able to keep up with the pace. I'm not opposed to her ideas, but my boyfriend and I both need to be on board about our decision, and I don't think it would be a bad one. However, I am anxious due to all of these things my mom is putting into my head about bad things that can happen.

Part of me wonders if she is right, but part of me wonders if she is holding me back with allowing myself to be open about exploring new things and going with the flow more. She keeps bombarding me with information, and I am well into my thirties. Any suggestions on setting boundaries? She seems to get upset when I try to tell her to stay out of it, although I appreciate her help and concern. It just seems to be over the top.