I love the range of thoughts and feelings about this! SK I think I would feel very much as you do about this, right down to the embarrassment in bringing it up. If my therapist slipped and called me “hun” once or occasionally, I’d probably get a kick out of it (the way it’s funny/sweet when kids accidentally call their teachers mom), but I wouldn’t like it as a regular thing. Also, I think the “I want to give you a hug” thing could land ok or badly depending on the moment… but generally, I would not prefer it.

The other day I was describing a situation that elicits all kinds of negative ideas I hold about myself and my T said, “that just makes me feel a lot of compassion for you and what you’re dealing with.” It’s similar in some ways to the hug comment (therapist disclosing personal reaction to client’s situation) but keeps her at more of a distance. She went on to suggest that I could regard myself with compassion instead of judgement (I politely didn’t roll my eyes), using her own reaction as a thing for me to reflect on. So her disclosure had a clear therapeutic point.