I also spend lots of time talking about my family in therapy (and marriage counseling, too), mainly my mom, as she's had a big influence on who I am, my insecurities, anxiety, etc., not just from childhood, but even now. Talking about her has helped Dr. T (and, as a result, me) understand why I react the way I do to some things, have certain fears about relationships, etc. And he's tried to counter/challenge some of the messages she gave me, which has been helpful.

He has suggested talking to my parents about some of these things (even possibly bringing one or both in for a session at some point), but has been understanding and accepting when I've said I'm not sure I'm at a point where I'd want to do that. Or that it might not do any good. Things like that. If that's your concern, from what you've said about your T, I don't think she would push you to do something like that.

As for knowing about her losing a parent, I understand your concern, as H and I worked with a marriage counselor who lost his wife during the time we were seeing him. So I worried at one point that he'd see our problems as petty, like "Well, at least your spouse is still alive!" Or that he'd be upset. But it was OK. I think I talked about those concerns with him at one point, too.

So I'd suggest telling your T your concerns about talking about your family, both about you and about her, and see what she says. And it doesn't mean that once you start talking about them, you have to share *everything* or that you're going to only be able to talk about them. You can share as much or as little as you like. But it could be enlightening to do so.