So today was awkward.

My sister finally responded to me about meeting today at our mother's memory care to ask our mother which daughter she wants to be the legal contact for the nursing home for the county where it's located.

She agreed to meet me today and here's where it became awkward. First, she was wearing a purple coat and I was wearing a purple sweater. Neither one of us knew what the other was wearing. I thought that was odd. I looked up the meaning of the color purple Color Psychology: What Does the Color Purple Mean? and there's a section that mentions it has a strong eletromagnetic wavelength. As you know, humans give off electromagnetic wavelengths. Lots of research on it. Study on Vibration Characteristics and Human Riding Comfort of a Special Equipment Cab

I thought it was ironic that my sister and I were both wearing the same color despite the fact that we don't like each other at all. It's as though we were both wearing purple to protect ourselves from each other? If that makes sense? Maybe that's me reaching for an explanation for an otherwise arbitrary fact that has no hidden meaning.

Anyway, I printed off the director's legal document that our mother had to sign to validate her legal guardian while she lives at this memory care. My sister has the power of attorney and is responsible for our mother's finances and elderly waiver (so...she still has all of the control).

Our mother decided to switch my sister to me after being at this place for three years now, as her healthcare legal guardian (basically, the memory care nursing staff has to contact me about our mother's healthcare needs first, instead of my sister).

Do I feel vindicated by this? Not really but it does feel good to think that now I'll be the first person contacted instead of my sister. Not that I trust the nursing staff there to follow through since my sister is a nurse and has been their first point of contact for the past three years. And we all know how well nursing homes obey federal and state nursing home regulations and laws (insert my sarcastic tone of voice here). I will have to wait and see if my signing that legal statute document means that the nursing staff actually contacts me. I will send an email cc'ing my sister, the nursing home director, nursing home dir. of nursing etc. and our mother's geriatric nurse today with a PDF copy of the signed legal statute document. Who knows if the nursing staff will contact me after today or will still contact my sister, who will just not bother to follow up with me when the nursing staff do contact her. I actually told my sister over the phone that I don't trust her to contact me when our mother passes away. Because it's true, I don't trust my sister.

So, after our mother signed her legal document, my sister made somewhat of a superficial effort (?) to follow up with me about her trip (I had walked in on her regaling our mother with details of her trip abroad to visit her daughter, none of which she's shared with me since she returned stateside...no surprise). She said, "I bought you a towel and small lemon soap from [country]. It's the thought that counts, right?" Really? Lemon soap and a towel after not voluntarily sharing her trip photos with me of her visiting her daughter abroad. Like, what was that about? She lies to me all the time, intentionally keeps information her children's activities and lives and well-being hidden from me, so I have no idea what they are doing anymore. She never and has never volunteered any information with me, or asked me for advice, or confided in me, or shown any interest in having a close, emotional bond as a sister with me.

So, why would I accept that dumb (and lame) gift. She could have bought it at Walgreens and claimed it was from the country she had just visited. Why even offer that to me, when she has made it clear to me that she wants nothing to do with me. Her comment, "it's the thought that counts," seems to me that she was trying to make herself look good in front of our mother, and it felt like a manipulative comment directed at me.

Like, my sister was saying, "I bought you this so you should be grateful," even though she didn't share any details with me during or after her trip, except that brief 10 minute FaceTime with her and her daughter.

I told her the truth that I didn't want the gift because I am allergic to lemon soap (even if I wasn't allergic to lemon I would have just said, "no" to it). So, then I responded, "I'm sure one of your coworkers would like it." Why would I accept that gift anyway? From someone who clearly doesn't want a relationship with me. It felt like it was for show, for our mother's sake. Does that make sense? Am I overreacting?