I'm back, more or less, and I don't really know how, when I was so down and out. I didn't sleep at all last night--but I got out of bed and started on my schedule, and when a part came that had an exercise on the floor, I fell asleep on the floor. Then I dragged myself to bed and slept for 2 hours. Makes a difference.

My spells are often like that, really really miserable for about 2 days and then it clears up. Some kind of rapid cycling?

I was feeling too embarrassed to say much on here because all the things I was trying didn't seem to do any good. Feeling like a failure. But then, maybe the schedule did help. It had such good results with the house looking better because there's a lot of housework on it, and then I had fun because I scheduled some of that too. And so it pulls me back, even when I'm miserable. And that may break up a bad spell sooner than usual. Just doing things that have good results. Or maybe it's because it brings me back to the present, where nothing is actually going wrong. These things I worry about are things that may never happen.

After one of these spells I inwardly yell at myself for taking it seriously, since it often goes away in 2 days, but when it's on me, it's a monster and seems very, very serious., like something I can never get over. I'm still not sure how I do. Maybe I have a normal streak in here somewhere.