Been ruminating for a couple days now about what sent me to the hospital almost 6 months ago. It's back haunting me although I feel anxious it's not the crazy pacing non-stop heart pounding raised blood pressure type that I felt 6 months ago.

In addition to that, my sleep is messed up again. Friday night I stayed up all night until about 6 am. Saturday, I never got up- just kept sleeping until 10:00 this morning. Then, I finally got up but both Friday and today I binge watched YouTube for most of the day. And now, it's almost 3:30 a.m. and I'm still up. Not really tired plus when I try to fall asleep the ruminating begins again. I don't have any prns that would make me sleepy. I do take trazodone at bedtime but my body is used to it and I'm not sure it does much anymore. So I set my alarm for 10 and 11 a.m. but now that I'm still up that would be less than 8 hours sleep. Part of my problem is that I wasn't tired and was still up at 1 and started an hour-long video. Now it's been an hour and a half past when that ended and I don't know where the time went.

PS. Sorry no personals. I haven't been good about coming here to as of late. I'm sorry for that.

P.P.S.

Now it's 4 am. Maybe I should just go back to YouTube and stay up all day until tomorrow night.